A VAMPIRE ORDERS SOME COFFEE AT STARBUCKS
The Ginger Collect, Issue Nine, Published March 31st, 2019
Despite his all-black attire, flowing cape, and pasty face, the barista still gives him a signature “Welcome to Starbucks!” smile.
. . .
Read the full piece here.
THE SAD, SAD STORY OF SAM SHOWERS’ CEASELESS SPRINKLING
Hair Trigger 40, Published April 1st, 2018
Sam Showers entered the library with a big smile on his freckled face and a spring in his step. Today was not just another average Monday at this second home of his. Today was the day he would receive the prestigious “Outstanding Community Member” award, given annually to the cheeriest, hardest-working, most-dedicated-to-their-town individual in all of Townville. He had combed his curly red hair into perfect submission, worn his favorite green-plaid flannel and khakis, and even gone through his teeth cleaning routine three times to ensure he looked his best when he was handed the gold-plated replica of City Hall. The ceremony was scheduled for eleven sharp, and everybody who was anybody would be there: the mayor, the fire chief, the crossing guard, everyone. It was a really big deal.
. . .
Read the full piece here.
VARIOUS SATIRICAL ARTICLES
The Odyssey Online, Published weekly between August 2, 2017 – February 12, 2018
(28 articles were published in total — my favorite four are below)
“I Tried The Tide Pod Diet For Thirty Days And The Results Were Straight 🔥🔥🔥“
“I’m Going To Send Out Some Thoughts And Prayers In Advance To Prevent America’s Next Mass Shooting”
“I REFUSE To Say ‘Happy Halloween’, But I Will Be Saying ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS'”
“6 Facts That Are 100% True About Celebrity Chef Guy Fieri”
. . .
Read my entire Odyssey catalog here.
THIS BIG, A LOT
Habitat Literary Magazine, Issue 2, Published May 8th, 2017
Dear Agnes,
I miss you. I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the sparkle of your eyes. I miss your hair and the way it cascades down your shoulders, crawling with lice. I miss you.
. . .
Read the full piece here.
GROWING IN THE BASEMENT
The Lab Review, “Home” Edition, Published April 6th, 2017
There was something strange about the Tenant in the basement. Ms. Burrows had thought so ever since he’d answered her Craigslist ad and signed the lease.
. . .
Read the full piece here.
Lawrence Silveira 